Bits of Yarn, Calico and Velvet Scraps                                                            Page 22

THE YEAR TWO THOUSAND AND...

My first spiritual awakening came through my

father and the Father God. Feminist awareness and

feminist theology awoke my soul to the divine in

woman, in our bodies, in our blood. Yet I do not

want a Mother God/ a Goddess, any more than I

now want a Father God. I cannot return to that

world/ even though I retain my ability to speak its

language, when occasion arises. I find myself at

home in the darkness, without names.

Now that I am old my universe of symbols changes,

as the days and seasons change. The wind blows

where it will. I would collect no more idols. The

Wholly Other appears in many guises, always

coming toward, from the far off horizon. I expect

no special protection or providence, leaving off all

demands to listen. Freedom from desire is not the

same as death. It is freedom. There is power in it

and goodness and love beyond 'observance'.

In a way, then, everything speaks, while all is silent.

The possibility of Love and Light comes closer, with

'experienced fingers, quietly pushing dark against

bright, silk against roughness', in this overflowing

present.

Is the 'Wholly Other' Friend? I feel so but I don't

know.

I am here, now, way out in the bush, running wild.

Then why is it that when I at last see your face

under that hood of slate-blue, so calm and dark,

so worn with the burden of an inexpressible

knowledge -

why is it that I begin to worship you with tears?

Judith Wright, 'Ishtar'